July 10, 2009

June 15 came and went, uneventfully. It was the day I set for myself as a benchmark in recovery, the day by which time I should at least start to feel better. I guess by that date I was doing somewhat better.. but not by any measurable means. Some of my hair started to fall out around that day.. and really, the recovery process is much slower than I could have ever guessed, even with the understanding that it is slow. Retrospectively, of course, things had gotten a little better by the end of June, but it was still a colossal effort to do any task requiring physical exertion. I forced myself to spend a little time outside almost every day, and after several weeks, I had my tiny garden planted. I can’t believe it took as long as it did. I can’t believe how limited I still am in everyday everything. Part of why I haven’t bothered to update the blog is because I am so incredulous as how things aren’t moving along nicely. I think this might be yet another summer written off, and it’s very disheartening. I’ve been much worse this week, too. I feel like I have actually regressed by about 2 months of recovery time. I likely just have a small bug or cold, but it’s left me extra dizzy and nauseous since Monday. Not ideal. I really just want to get on with life, but even that is going to have to wait longer than I could have anticipated.